Today, I reminded my 5-year-old of a Flemish song I used to sing to him. It was one we had sung together many times when he was smaller. To my surprise — and a little disappointment — he didn’t remember it at all.

It was a small moment, but it taught me a big lesson: bilingualism doesn’t just happen.

Even when children are exposed to another language early on, that language can fade without regular, meaningful use. It’s not enough to have spoken it once, or even often — it takes consistent repetition, emotional connection, and daily reinforcement to keep a language alive in a child’s mind.

But I’ll be honest: it’s exhausting sometimes. Sharing my home language through nursery rhymes, songs, and stories takes effort — especially when English is everywhere around him. School, friends, books, TV… English has the loudest voice. Some days, it feels like I’m in a quiet competition between the language I grew up with and the language my son is growing up in. And when time is tight, it’s my home language that slips through the cracks.

That forgotten song was a reminder that if I don’t actively make space for our language, it won’t grow.

So if you’re raising a bilingual child, don’t be discouraged by these moments. See them as gentle nudges: keep singing, keep speaking, keep showing up for your language. Because every small effort counts — even if the results take time.