A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the moment my five-year-old son forgot a Flemish song we used to sing together. It was such a small moment, but it hit me hard. I realised how quietly, almost invisibly, a language can slip away when it isn’t actively nurtured.

Since then, I’ve taken a more intentional approach to weaving Dutch back into our everyday life. The turning point came from him—a reward chart. Simple, colourful, and clear, it gave him a sense of achievement and made the idea of speaking Dutch feel like a fun challenge rather than something I was “making” him do.

The results have been remarkable. He’s been answering me in Dutch more often, and he’s started singing songs with me again. I can see his mind working as he constructs his sentences, translating from English into Dutch with growing ease. There’s a certain spark in his eyes when he realises he’s managed to say something “all by himself.”

Why This Small Change Worked

I think there were a few reasons this shift happened so quickly:

1. Ownership – The reward chart was his idea, so he felt in control.
2. Positive reinforcement – Progress was celebrated, not corrected.
3. Daily opportunities – We wove Dutch into songs, meals, and playtime, so it didn’t feel like a “lesson.”
4. Connection – The reward wasn’t just stickers; it was also the joy of sharing a language with family.

Tips for Parents Nurturing a Home Language

• Follow their lead – Let your child choose activities, songs, or games in the target language.
• Keep it playful – Singing, role-play, and silly sentences work better than drills.
• Be consistent, but not rigid – A little every day is better than long sessions once in a while.
• Involve family – Visits, video calls, or voice messages with relatives can give the language real purpose.
• Celebrate effort, not perfection – Confidence matters more than flawless grammar.

The Heart of It

For me, this is about so much more than words or grammar. It’s about belonging. It’s about my son having the keys to both parts of his heritage. It’s about him being able to share jokes with his grandparents, understand family stories, and sing the songs I grew up with.

The day he forgot that song felt like a loss. But now, each time we sing together, it feels like a small victory, one that’s ours to keep.